I'm Getting a New Laptop!
I applied for a bank-loan recently so that I could afford a new laptop. It is long overdue; I refer to my current machine as a "two-piece" laptop, because the keyboard is nearly completely disconnected from the screen. The laptop that I'm getting is going to be a System76 Darter Pro, running Pop! OS. It's an OS that I haven't used before; if I find that I don't like it, I'll probably revert back to Linux Mint, which I currently use.
I'm thinking that with a new laptop, I need to make changes to how I use the internet, too. I'd always prided myself on not using social media; I've never had a twitter or a tumblr or a faceboook or an instagram or a snapchat or any of that. In retrospect, I don't think that that's true - I've simply used other websites to fuel my addiction. My claims to be social-media free have historically rung hollow, like someone saying that they're not a nicotine addict because they don't smoke, they just vape. I continue to watch YouTube videos, talk with people through discord, and browse and post on reddit. I've used YouTube in the same way that some people use television; discord and reddit are essentially what I use in place of all the small forums that no longer exist. Ultimately, even if I'm not using the popular social media websites, I've still fallen into the trap of social media.
On my new laptop, I hope to ammend that. I'm thinking I'll just fully block the websites YouTube and Reddit on the new laptop. Discord I use for work and school, so I need to keep it; but I think that I can start to significantly reduce my usage there, too. These websites have been time-sinks, stealing days of my life from me even at a crucial time where I should be studying for my qualifying exams. A year ago, I went a few weeks without internet and wound up reading 6 books in that time, and it was still less of a time-waster. (And to think that I was hypocritical enough to brag that I don't use social media, just because I have nothing attached directly to my real name and face!)
So, what will I be replacing things with? As tempting as it is to go full-luddite, the solution is probably more responsible technology usage. My online self-expression is going to be through this website. I don't know whether anyone is paying attention to my site, or even how to find that out; contrast with reddit, where you can easily see exactly how many people are engaging with every single thing that you say. I think that the reduced "online-social" pressurre will result in me wasting less time overall; I'll just be doing and talking about things that interest me, not chasing the dopamine hit of a larger number.
YouTube is one that I'm looking forward to replacing even more. YouTube is to my generation what television was to my grandparents; it is the generic go-to for audiovisual entertainment. Based on my internet history, I probably watch 4-5 hours of YouTube videos each day, on the low end. I can replace that with lots of things; hopefully I'll read more books, go out more, play more TTRPGs and wargames, etc. Maybe I'll play video-games occasionally; my new computer should be powerful enough to run Crusader Kings 3 with the Godherja mod, which looks exciting.
And, of course, I'll hopefully be able to be more productive in my schoolwork. I've barely studied math in months, despite quals coming up next week. I have no idea whether I'll pass this time around, but I'm not counting on it. I had legitimate medical reasons that I think my relationship to technology exacerbated, but I definitely fucked it up. And math is something that I like, that I think is fun enough that I decided to devote my life to studying it.
These are changes that I should have made a long time ago, in retrospect. Getting a new laptop is just the excuse that I'm taking to alter my lifestyle, hopefully for the better. I want to live a more authentic life, and become more engaged with the things that I'm passionate about, and what I've talked about here is really just a first step in that process. But it's a first step that I'm exciteed to take.